Monday, January 11, 2016

IEW_Alexandra_The Mysterious Island 1st draft

The Mysterious Island

I believe in destiny. I believe that people we meet, places we go and time we spend doing certain things- are the choices made by the destiny. The destiny that, I believe, every person is building. Every time I look back on my life, thinking deeply about the choices I had throughout my life, I always see the connection between them and how they actually bring me where I am now. One of the best choices I had in my life was joining the Korean traditional dance class, which not only gave me a huge variety of experience, but also, most importantly, brought me to the place that wholly changed my life and future plans.  I call this place "the mysterious island".

I have been attending the Korean traditional dance class since I was seven. No matter how much I was busy with school courses and exams I never missed dance classes. Moreover I used to spend my leisure time in the classroom alone, practicing dances for our perform events. For the last seven years while I have been a part of the dance group we have become quite famous in my country, so we had be given the opportunity to practice somewhere overseas. It was the last summer of my high school when my dance group and me for the first time visited our motherland, South Korea, to practice for one month in the Namdo National Center of Korean Performing Arts.

The center is located in the southern part of peninsula- Jindo Island. It takes five hours by bus to go there from Seoul. So as soon as we arrived in Seoul and got on the bus, I already enjoyed the way to the Jindo Island. While listening to my favorite music, which is all One Republic's songs, I was looking out the window while the bus had passing by different cities and villages. I tried to picture in my mind all the beautiful and stunning views I had seen- wild rice fields sparkling in different colors, as if someone was drawing the landscape; a breathtaking sunrise at the sea, which had a rich palette- mostly orange-red colors, but in the same time mixed with dark blue, so I knew the night was close. The long way to the Jindo Island was full of gorgeous and unforgettable sceneries as if it was saying me that the Island is more marvelous place. We were crossing the bridge that connects the Island with peninsula, and I already saw a relief landscape with small and big mountains. Since it was late evening, the color of the lay was dark green, because the mountains were covered with forests, like under a big green blanket.

The first thing I did when I got off the bus I closed my eyes and deeply breathed the air. The air was very different from Seoul; it was very chilly and clean, mixed with forest and sea odor. Also the moisture in the air made me feel a bit thirsty, so I breathed even deeper.

While living in the center, my group and me have been practicing from 9am to 10pm with lunch and dinner breaks. Even though the schedule was a bit tough, I enjoyed everyday practice, learning more about the Korean traditional dances and culture. Everyday after the evening practice, I took the shower and straightly went for a walk near the center. The air, whether and landscape were exactly the same when I first came. I was walking around as if I was looking for some treasures that the Island might hide from me. But everything what I did is just delighting the surroundings- the dark green dense forests, impressive mountains and see breeze. The summer wind, which was winnowing its way through the grass, was another pleasure the nature gave me every night I walked around. I did not find any treasure, but I definitely found something more significant. I found myself. I found my purpose.

While walking around every night, my mind was always full of thoughts- mostly I was thinking of my future, building plans without even realizing it. I clearly could hear myself, like I was talking to myself. I could better prioritize the things that were the most important to me. I dreamed a lot. I got the dream I wanted to achieve, I got the purpose I wanted to live for. This moment in my life I will never forget. I will never forget the place I was inspired by. I will never forget the mysterious island.  

 

2 comments:

  1. What I like the best in the essay is your passion. Through your essay, I can tell that you are very into dancing. For example, you said you have never missed a class no matter how busy you are; during the dancing trip, the schedule was tough but you still enjoyed the practice.

    At first, I am not sure that whether you are describing the Jindo Island or the training centre. After reading your title, I realises you are talking about the Jindo Island. Besides, you described a lot of things when you landed Jindo Island. However, you said that you 'tried to picture in your mind' . I am a bit confused since I am not sure whether you saw it in Jindo Island or just at somewhere else.

    I like the parts you appeal to senses. For instance, 'While listening to my favorite music, which is all One Republic's songs,' which is very specific and let the reader knows what music you like; 'The air was very different from Seoul; it was very chilly and clean, mixed with forest and sea odor.' Comparing with Seoul and describing the smell makes me easier to imagine the fresh air.

    The place seems quite, fresh and green to me under your description. The atmosphere there seems relaxing, although the practice in the centre is a bit tough.

    I think the reason why you write about this place is because you love dancing so much. This place has connection with your dancing practice. It seems like a place that can help you achieve your dream.

    I think it will be nice if you can write more about the Island itself when you revise. Did you go to somewhere else on the Island beside the surroundings of the centre?

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  2. I like the way how you describe the "mysterious island" and how you describe your emotions. Also in your essay you give good details that help readers draw the picture.
    I think this essay is clear. You described pre-history of traveling there, an Island, and your feelings. But I would like to know more about the training center.
    I like your part "I was looking out the window while the bus had passing by different cities and villages. I tried to picture in my mind all the beautiful and stunning views..." which is describe your feeling through the nature that you saw.
    I am not sure about the atmosphere in training center but the atmosphere in Island was very calm and comfortable for you.
    I think you are very inspired of this story and dancing is very important part in your life. and you described it very clear in your essay, except the atmosphere in the training center.
    I think you can add more details, and maybe write more about the atmosphere behind the training center. For example, write about other things that was interesting for you.

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