Jejudo is a beautiful place and everyone agree with that. It reminds people of beautiful sea; beautiful sea with its unpolluted water even a deep place of it can be seen. It also reminds people sunny days of beach with a soft breeze which tickles their skin.
There is a place which is called Tapdong. There is a wide open space right next to the sea and straight lined walk along the sea. Many people play basketball there because there are basketball stands. Sometimes people mistakenly throw the ball into the sea so they lost their ball. Sometimes people who rides roller-skate or skate-board can be seen. Near the wide open space, there is a Seaside Concert Hall and people sometimes are able to watch festival on summer.
When I was second grade of middle school student, I went to there with my best friend for report of Jeju International Wind Ensemble Festival which was held in the Seaside Concert Hall on summer. When we got there however, there was so crowded so we decided to not watch the concert and to walk around instead. After we passed many sushi restaurant, finally we got there.
I had never seen such a wonderful sight. In front of the lighthouse, there was a quiet sea hitting little waves to seawall. Its sound and the songs from festival made me really calm and peaceful. There were few people there so that sound deeply came through my ears. Some lights from fisherman's boat made the night much lighter. The rear of the lighthouse, so beautiful scene of summer night was spread. Streetlights were there along the seashore and they lit the street where people played basketball. It felt so peaceful. Most grateful thing was that my best friend and I were together inside of that peaceful and beautiful scene.
Few years later, I heard that he died by car accident. I was really sad. The only thing I could remember is the moment when we saw that beautiful scene.
That place is both beautiful and meaningful to me. Among the beautiful place in Jeju, it is the only place that has memory of my best friend. When I think about it, I can feel the cool breeze touching me and the sound of the waves through my ears.
First of all, I feel sorry for your loss. And thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteI like the description in the 4th paragraph. I've never experienced that kind of place but It makes me try to imagine the scenery. But, In my opinion, it would be better if you replace the adjectives "beautiful" and "peaceful" to another. Actually through the whole essay, there are many "beautiful".
In the 2nd paragraph, how about changing the "sea" to seaside or seashore or specific name of the sea? And 3rd paragraph, I think there is a grammar mistake: decided to not - decided not to. Lastly, your essay would be better if you write more about your friend. I thought the writing would be about the scenery but the mention about the death of your friend came out all of a sudden.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that he is in peace up there.
Hello it's Hwisoo Jung. I'm very sorry for what happened to your friend but I'm also glad that you wrote about him and the incident to share with us on the other hand. Another thing I appreciate your writing is that you tried to describe the landscape you saw in detail. But I think your describe is a bit general and the place fully isn't described. you wrote
ReplyDelete'peaceful' 2 times in the same paragraph, and I think it'd be better if you use another adjective for the last one like 'tranquil'. Also, I think it's a bit ambiguous 'where' you got, when you wrote 'After we passed many sushi restaurant, finally we got there.' I think it'd be better if you wrote where you were going, is it Tapdong? I'm a bit confused.
And another thing is that you gave us only small information about your friend and just said he passed away, if you show us the emotional bond between him and the landscape that you feel, people will understand better why that place (apdong?) is important for you.
Anyway, thank you for this piece of writing!