How I feel when I write

            I think I was talented writer when I was younger than now. In my age of 12, I won a first prize in my school essay contest by writing about "my dream". I didn't have any question about what was a good part of my work. Looking back the time, I was a bad criminal. My work had one special thing. That was a friendly tone. Other writings were black and white, while my one was colorful. The secret was to use speaking language in my writing, which is easier for an 12-year-old boy to use basic rhetoric skills. The problem is, the writing skill was that I copied from one child book I read. It was a undeniable plagiarism. When I won third prize in poem contest, I just took some combinations of words from couple of poem, just as I did before.

          At that time, I didn't care about how readers will take my work. If only I did care, I wouldn't have done that, since I was very shy boy who was worried about my reputation so much. I think I had no concept about what relationship between writer and reader is.

          When I won a first prize, nothing was given to me, but a small paper which is meaningless. However, purpose of my writing has been changed. I mainly write for my grade. Now I have a perception that my work will be read by someone, usually professors. Needles to say, It makes me so nervous to summit my work. So I check my wordings to avoid plagiarism, grammatical errors, and ambiguities as much I can.

          Actually, regardless of my successful result of "my dream" writing, I enjoyed imagining future me who is respected and working for my community, as a dreamy little boy. Once I wrote about a special recipe I know in a basic writing course before. It was the most exciting work during the course. I sometimes keep a diary. When my pen start to run, I can't resist writing my ideas longer and longer. In conclusion, writing is not a torture for me, but I'm not used to get my works graded or criticized. Nevertheless, I will be happy to get check by my teacher since I believe training must be followed by embarrassment.